The 3 months I was not working out I was so depressed. Everything just seemed so dark, I thought I had nobody to turn to and the pressures of everyday life was really weighing on me. I never understood how someone could take their own life but for a moment I began to understand. But instead of hurting myself, I thought of my 4 reasons to live and just because I couldn't deal with the overwhelming feeling of drowning and not having any support I had to continue. I have never felt this depressed in my life! As I am sitting here typing this I am fighting back the tears as the details of that day are replaying in my head. I have never told anyone other than my Husband. I found a Support group for Police Officer Wives and I slowly began to crawl out, I have found some great support and sisters through them. Just having someone to talk to and understand everything I am going through has been amazing. I'm not 100% but I am 70%.
The reason I brought this up is because while I was working out I always felt great! I found myself being able to deal with stressful situations better, the overwhelming feeling was never around and if I felt any stress I knew as soon as I started sweating I would release every bit of it. I don't know why it has taken me 3 months to come to this realization but I'm glad I have.
So the Quest of the Chunky Mommy is back on! This time NOT ONE DAMN EXCUSE! One of my best friends and I have started this 30 day challenge so if you want to join feel free. It has turned itself into, 100 squats, 200 butt lifts, 200 crunches and 10 push ups a day. Yes you read that right 10 push ups lol. I'm also going to stop using the treadmill having convulsions as an excuse. Even though it is colder than crap outside I have decided since it wouldn't be a very good workout walking around town with all 3 girls I am going to take them to the cemetery and let them ride their bikes while I walk. I also have a step counter on my phone and I am going to try my hardest to get as close to 10,000 steps a day. I have to sit all day now since I am working on a website so I have decided every hour I will get up and walk for 5 minutes. I also need to do this because I have been having a lot of issues with my eyes and tail bone from sitting and staring at a computer so long.
So starting today I am weighing in at 224 lbs. That is a 10lbs weight loss since the beginning.
Jennifer, I totally needed this post today. I'm so glad you are back and I LOVE this attitude you have about it. Look at the positives and this paragraph right here, has so much meaning to me right now..
ReplyDelete"The reason I brought this up is because while I was working out I always felt great! I found myself being able to deal with stressful situations better, the overwhelming feeling was never around and if I felt any stress I knew as soon as I started sweating I would release every bit of it. I don't know why it has taken me 3 months to come to this realization but I'm glad I have. "
Thank you. You have no idea how timely this is for me. (((HUGS))) I'm glad you are back.
WELCOME BACK!
ReplyDeleteI can feel your determination and dedication just pouring out through this post. YOU CAN DO IT!
Thanks Ladies! I am sore as heck from our 30 day challenge but it that I hate the way this feels but I love it so much feeling... I am so glad to be back at it! I feel great today so refreshed!
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